We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
