i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
His nipple licking is glorious
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