Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
