Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
