I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
