Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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