Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
how does that bad decision feel?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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