she looked like the before picture.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
