Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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