my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
