How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
