It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
