He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
