I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
