I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We are all done wearing pants today
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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