I think my fart just growled at me.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
