We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
