i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
