I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
