my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
