i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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