Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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