I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
