so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
