would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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