she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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