I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
