Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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