he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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