Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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