You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Randomize
