My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
