I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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