Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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