im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
