My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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