i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
