Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
