As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
