its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
