Dual....:-)
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
