During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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