at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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