I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
All the doctor said was why
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
