i will never coherently bang her
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I think my moral compass just broke
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
