remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
