he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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