Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
