She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Randomize
