i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Are my feet made of real feet?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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