So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
