Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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