Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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